Words

Gimme a taste of what's to come
Give me a medicine
Teach me a lesson, maybe I deserve to know
Cut me down to size and paralyze me
With the contents of your pretty little head

Gimme somewhere else to go
Give me one thing
Tell me something I don't really need to know
I am so afraid of breaking what we made
It is delicate and lovely
But it's a weight above me

And your words are like weapons
But you'll keep them inside
They cut like a knife
And you keep it together
Those feelings inside
There's nowhere to hide but away from me
And I just wanna listen to your words

I'd like to step into your world
Show me a secret
I promise to keep it safe and sheltered from the storm
I would cross the great divide that keeps me swimming
Treading water from your shore

Now I wanna coax you from your hell
Into an alley, the hidden valley
Where the truth can surely spill
I wanna take the weight that drags you to the ground
Spare this treasure that I found

But your words are like weapons
But you'll keep them inside
They cut like a knife
And you keep it together
Those feelings inside
There's nowhere to hide but away from me
And I just wanna listen...

There's a lock, someone's stolen the key
They took it away from me
Somewhere that noone can read ya
I see a bible
I see a bible in your eyes
All those codes and hidden meanings
Full of metaphor
and something for the faithless in me

But your words are like weapons
But you'll keep them inside
They cut like a knife
And you keep it together
Those feelings inside
There's nowhere to hide
And your words are like weapons
But you'll keep them inside
They cut like a knife
And you keep it together
Those feelings inside
There's nowhere to hide but away from me
And I just wanna listen to your words

A Home at the End of the World

Warning: It's 12:20am now and I just got back, and I am listening to Bright Eyes atm - so don't complain if I get a bit sentimental in this post :)

The truth is, I've been living my last few years thinking that I would die at the age of 40 lol. It's not that I am hoping to have a short life, but I've come to the conclusion that it's best to live with a self-consciousness that the end is always near the corner, lurking. It's sort of like when you were a kid and you were at a mate's place, and you would be expecting when your parents will arrive at the front door to pick you up. At least for me, having this kind of anticipation gives me enough reason to seek out my dreams without a hint of hesitation.

And for that particular reason, I tended to, from a pretty young age, to have a kind of strange yet logical emotional distance which I maintained between myself and "home".

There is no doubt, that I am the type that would choose to take the longer path, so that I can seek out an adventure, to tackle a challenge and to measure my own capacity in times of hardship.

So for wherever my next destination maybe (UK and then NYC?) - I will look forward to throw myself into the deep end again with great anticipation!

Something's Not Right (And I don't Know Why)

When all I wish to see is black and white
and all i wana do is to leave myself behind
I got this sick feeling
that something's not right
yeh, something's not right

I dunno what I'm trying to hide
when I can't fathom what's deep inside
and the more I dig, the more I realise
hey something's not right
yeh, something's not right

And when the day seems so long
just to get through
that you feel wasted, watching your shadow grow
It's then you realise
that you've still got so much to offer

Pity that it's always the feelings
that hold you back
so that you can protect yourself, and avoid the wreck
And all that you pray for
is something to differ

It's then you realise
that loneliness is not defined
by how many people you've got on your side
but it's by the love that you cannot give
and the gratitude that you can't receive

I dunno what's wrong with me tonight
but all I want is for someone to hold me tight
and whisper in my ear, and tell me
that something's not right
yeh, something's not right


-E

No Right Angle$

At 24, and turning 25 in 4 months, I really should get into the property market.

Granted, I've saved enough for myself to put down a sizeable deposit for a house and a job that would still allow me to have my little luxuries in life. And at 24, a certain percentage of the 'ordinary' would probably start to think about marriage. While the 'extraordinary' like us would probably just be too cash-strapped at this moment - we tend to think about Italian suits, vintage tees, limited-edition sneakers, and a whole bunch of Clinique facial products instead.

Pathetic I know, but don't assume I'm one of those extraordinary losers just yet.

Since working full-time, I really have caught myself out with my perception of what money is to life. I don't like the smell of it on most days. I felt that having money is like seeing a sign that you've become stagnated in life; that its merely a symbol of false fruition after a whole year of work. I suppose the real reason behind it is that, I never felt I deserve alot of it anyway. While most of the time I can see my glass being half-full, I still believe that having less is more.

I still dream of being a young artist, who would struggle to make ends meet and would only be able to afford to eat Nutella (instead of the cliche peanut butter) sandwiches, but I would go around different countries and see the ocean from every possible angle, before I die famous.

That's really just another romantic dream of mine, but I am happy to find that the Nutella part is not too hard to fulfill lol.

* * *

It's a little bit funny this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
I don't have much money but boy if I did
I'd buy a big house where we both could live

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross
But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

* * *

If money can buy happiness, then I firmly believe that happiness is true only when shared.

A Whole Bunch of Contradictions

It's crazy to think that I am here trying to start a blog again - I hate it in a way, because blogging makes me think alot, and the worst thing is that I don't tend to hold back when I am writing about what I think. Being an innate pessimist doesn't help either, I never liked reading my old blogs for that exact reason. Yet there comes a time when I don't have the luxury of having a person next to me to hear me out and that writing is probably my next-best therapy. (Nico I know you said the same thing on yours, and I can't agree more) It's been two years now since I've put my own thoughts down in writing. People suppose to change in a month, I don't know how much I've grown in that time.

But it has taken me two year to realise that there are no right angles in life. What you thought might be a right turn could in fact meanders itself into the left, and in a very cruel way, without you noticing it.

And with each turn I make in life, I hope I can capture them here in good old B&W.

And just like what everybody do before they taste their wine for the first time, this is just my way of saying "Cheers," to you too in life.